Secret Files – The Wandering Inn

Secret Files

I used to have more of these. If I had my old account on RoyalRoad, and if anyone sends me more I’ve written or I find them, I’ll put them here.

Sometimes, people ask me for birthday wishes for a significant other or messages I’ve written. I don’t do it often and frankly, I don’t respond to most DM’s. I cannot. But there should be a record it is ‘me’ who wrote these birthday messages. If you found this page and you’re not one of those people…I dunno. Why are you here? This is just a record of things I’ve sent fans.


To: Mattjin (aka Mutt the [Enchanter]?)

From: Erin.

Hope you’re having a good birthday, Mutt! I’m sending you a little note saying ‘thanks’ for the prototype bone-hand you sent! I’m glad you had such a great time at the inn, even if uh, the Antinium can regrow limbs.

Might not be your market and Drakes are weird about necromancy. But come by and shoot arrows with Bird any time! I’ll visit your half-Elf village sometime too, okay? Hope you have a great birthday and thanks for visiting The Wandering Inn!

PS. Your hand’s um. Moving around a bit. I think Mrsha turned it on by accident. Is it supposed to be crawling like that? How do I turn it off?

PPS. It’s cool. I’m gonna use it to scare people for Halloween. Can I buy some more?



(Happy Birthday from me as well! Thanks for reading.)



Dear Conner,

This letter comes to you courtesy of the banal ‘inter-net’, of which I have many doubts, but I trust the good coin I, Mrsha du Marquin, have personally put down is acceptable for this Street Runner to traverse the informational highway and deliver my salutations on your fine birthday.

I do not, as a habit, make it a custom to address my many fans, but I was moved to send a personal note expressing my hugest wishes when I was given information by your sibling (dsunier, whom I may also vouchsafe my warmest greetings to on this fine day), that you were a dedicated fan of yours truly.

When I informed my mother, Lyonette, about this most agreeable take, she wished to express her well wishes as well, though I must now confide that she was suitably dismayed by your apparent tattoo of a duck on your arm? I, personally, find ducks most agreeable and I hope you will not listen to the naysayers in this regard. Satar Silverfang, another personal friend, was most impressed by the tattoo and references to books.

From The Wandering Inn’s regulars, as well as Inkpaper, myself, Erin, Apista, and Lyonette, we wish you all the finest on this day and I will personally expect a lesson in rock climbing and perhaps the class if we should ever meet. (Do not mention this to my mother as she does not believe in the occupation outside of adventuring but as you may gather, she is a silly woman at times).

Happy Birthday,

–Mrsha du Marquin and The Wandering Inn


(Mrsha may have gotten in trouble for this one and I think she tried to tip a computer two coppers. Happy Birthday!)



Dear Rishi,

Salutations from The Wandering Inn! This is Lyonette du M…rsha, writing you to express my gratitude for your visit! I do appreciate any [Amateur Sommmelier] who visits the inn, not to mention a [Golem Core Artificer] working with the Terlands themselves! Your wine gift has been well received, and I do apologize for the rxlvn Klbkch foisted upon you.

Nevertheless, the inn fondly remembers your visit, even if certain impious children keep trying to sample your wine. I just have a few well wishes to note, if you will indulge me?

Enclosed is a small amount of ‘rolling bone dice’ that I believe you and Pisces discussed in regards to Khelt’s local amusements. It is not, I gather, the authentic kind manufactured in Khelt (you may be recieving an ah, package from His Majesty of Khelt, Fetohep himself, please reply with proper profound respect), but Pisces’ own creation.

I do hope it was not impounded by the Runner’s Guild, who get peculiar about necromantic objects. If they do object, do inform me and I will have our contracts sort out the issue, or deliver via the Wind Runner. If she did deliver the parcel in question, rest assured tipping is not required in Ryoka’s case.

Lastly, Erin wishes to inform you that she would like to meet your young child herself if you should ever visit again. Though we would ask you to write in advance, just in case the inn is in a stressful moment in time.

Nevertheless, we are wishing you the finest on your birthday, and you are welcome to return any time. We may even have a trivia night for fun factoids about the world, and we do have a library now! Wishing you luck, graceful aging, and all the enjoyment in the world,


–Lyonette du Mrsha


(Happy birthday! Your goods from Khelt and Pisces may have been impounded by the Runner’s Guild. They really don’t like necromancy.)


Notify of
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments